I know it’s been so long but just feel like blogging now because of all the overwhelming thoughts inside me.
Ever since the last post, which I’m not even sure when it was but I remember talking about getting better. And I really did. I didn’t learn anything so extraordinary but thinga have been going fine. I can’t ask for more you know, this is just enough.
I just don’t hate this year so much anymore, I became more accepting lol what a word. But I realised taking it step by step can lead me far so why not. この学期、あって言う間に終わっちゃった（笑）
I found new interests that may be able to help motivate me in the next 3-4 months. I know all of my celebrity crushes they come and go in a blink, I sometimes think of myself being that kind of impulsive person who would throw away old things for new ones and eventually crawling back (to the old ones), which Idk maybe I actually am. I was so crazy about Wallace and Hu Ge just back a month ago and look at me now, seeing their photos on Facebook doesn’t even move me an inch. Just because I’m into something else. I hope I don’t treat real people like that. My social circle right now is not big anyway so I never really think about such thing, most of the time I’m the too-sincere one anyway. At least I feel that way.
Anyway, I don’t even wanna go into details about my life recently because it’s so dull that it would take hours to draw something interesting out of it. It’s just the same everyday, I would of hated this life back then but Idk why, I don’t mind anymore. I enjoy being alone so much (except walking in my uniform alone). This is gonna be confusing, but I just somehow don’t think bout what I think anymore. And no I’m not crazy.
One thing that was so out of line was how I spent so much time on Japanese and started to neglect Maths. Maths, I am truly sorry, I know there are a lot of contents to go through with you and only by practising that I could truly understand you. I managed the 2U exam but pretty much screwed the 3U. Also winged Bio. I know it sounds bad but Bio used to be my best subject and ever since Mr Hitchings left it just became something else to me, something so foreign that could no longer enter my brain naturally through interest. Now it’s one of my 2 worst subjects.
Anyway, got only 2U, 3U Jap and English back this term. 3U Jap was okay, I came equal first in speaking with this girl and second in writing but the film analysis pulled me down a lot so came third, and yes I am forever number 3. But really satisfied since my hard work and dedication paid off, I couldn’t imagine where I would of ended up in that test if I didn’t try hard. Every now and again I would look back and be proud, not because I have mastered this language but because I still can see myself last year, end of year 11, begging my teacher to let me try out 3U (knowing that she thinks of me as a bottom girl and even now she would sometimes refer to back then how much I’ve changed, and no I did not change, the only thing I changed was her perception towards me, I freaking stepped on her prejudice and live til today). Maybe I can save this talk for after HSC lol.
Came first in the 2U Jap exam, I can say I’m very happy, I know I would feel very happy. But since I lost that feeling a long time ago haha, I just simply cannot feel happy without someone to feel happy for me. I never said a word about this to family, I wouldn’t anyway. So what I sit down and tell them how they should be proud of their little daughter improving? Improving is not even in their vocab. Whatever I do, my whole term whole year effort in the end will just be a number for them to look at. Instead of feeling YAY top mark, what I truly felt that moment was Thank God, I didn’t screw up. I have always been this way. I don’t mind telling other people my marks but I know as well not to speak loud of it. I came first, I know not to mention about this mark the second time.
I’ve come to accept it anymore, the story of my life lol. I’m already glad that I could feel totally at ease and relaxed that day because I got that mark. If I got a bad one, it sure would of haunted me for a long time.
English was good too (maybe top too) but again I have no feelings.
Enough talk about school, in other words, enough talk about my life.
It’s World Cup season so let’s talk about soccer. No I don’t know soccer that well because I only used to watch it when I was little, stopped until now. But it must be one of the easiest sports to watch and catch up.
The first match I watched was JPN vs Ivory. It was a nice Sunday (or Saturday?), late morning, I loved how the match started at 11AM, perfect for a sleep-in head like me. It was the first match I watched after such a long long time and instantly liked the feeling. How I looked at each player and decided if he was good-looking enough for me to want to remember his name. But nevertheless I remembered Honda, a bleached-blond Japanese lol, whoc scored an impressive first goal in the game.
It’s a shame, their performance this year. I don’t know much but I felt they could have done a lot better. It felt like they had it in them, but they lack little portions to everything and those added up. Seeing the whole team so down, watching their interviews with their eyes all teary and the way they talk, been making me sad for the past week, especially Ucchi. He is still so young and I hope he ain’t really thinking of quitting, I hope it was just his impulsive thinking due to the disappointment. Having liked Ucchi, I still have to admit Honda is totally admirable. I like his guts, I like his confidence. I like how he gives it all what he’s got and how he’s already aiming for the Russia WC. It’s hard, but they have to move on. Honda is like one of the very few players in the team that are capable. His English isn’t the best, strictly speaking isn’t what I would call good, but the way he speaks in interviews is just…idk. His vocab is limited, but one could feel the sincerity of his speech, or else he couldn’t have conveyed the message across. He feels like a typical Osaka-jin that truly loves soccer 🙂
About Ucchi, I don’t know, maybe it is like what my friend said, his position itself just doesn’t stand out as much as forwards like Honda and Kagawa.
Anyway, I wonder what the team will turn out to be by the end of this year. It is understandable, all the efforts put into these 4 years. But again, they have to move on and do something about their weak points. I hope it won’t take too long to heal physically and mentally. Because I will be paying soon for the tickets to see them play in January at the AFC Asian Cup, yesh held in Australia! This is just such good timing. Like one of the few things that made me so excited lately. Even though they won the last cup, it was 2011, story of the past. It’s different every now and again (look at Spain), but I do expect and HOPE and HOPE that I will be seeing them in the grand final. They got eliminated in the group stage in 2006 too and screwed the Asian Cup 2007 (but got to knock-out in 2010 and won the cup in 2011) so I’m afraid of that pattern…
I want to see their first match because might not be able to see them in those quarter and semi in Sydney, but it’s all the way in Newcastle. Planned to go cause thought the match would be at 4PM so I could probably catch train and be home at around 10-11PM but then now it’s 6PM so would be very late and it’s so far…
Haaa but anyway that’s a long long time later, it’s group stage match so probably will be able to.even get some last minute ticket in December.
Zac went back today but I wonder why only Ucchi and Hasebe went to see him off. Are the others not meant to? I didn’t feel like liking him from the beginning (and plus after JPN losing so badly) but now seeing him resign and leave the team it’s kinda sad. Someone on Twitter said Honda should of come to see him off cause he owes Zac big time.
One thing, Hasebe’s taste isn’t that bad at all Idk why some said things (lol fell of my chair laughing at photo of his “The End of Love” shirt :)))). In fact Ucchi looks like he needs some improvement, or he can just better off wear tracksuits like he always does, but man not those lengthy pieces of fabrics.
Someone please stop spreading rumours that Ucchi is getting married, unless it comes from his mouth it is frustrating and making his female fans restless.
Also, why does everyone have to resign just because the team lost!? Losing is inevitable in games and why should one person take all the responsibility? Or is it just culture? Or is it a soccer thing that I don’t know? Hasebe seems to be good enough to be the captain, he doesn’t have to step down…URGHH!