LittleCaramelFlan

"Tomorrow becomes yesterday too quickly."

Archive for the month “September, 2012”

Sick – not a good way to start the holidays

Before bed so I’m doing this quick. Got a fever last afternoon so had to go back from the Moon Fest early and slept then got better. However, this early 4AM got a very high fever for like 4-5 hours continuously. Felt terrible so Mum took me to the doctor to do a check up and got drug prescription. 3-4 hours after that got another fever +.+ But it was slight, I got so much better after an hour of sleep :]. Thinking I will get it again tonight though…always at night…

Was watching TBBT today and discovered this cute little song called ‘Soft Kitty’ which Sheldon and Penny sing to each other if one of them is sick haha <3! Gonna be on my favourite song list from now on, even though it's just like 15 seconds :P.

Really hope that I can get better tomorrow cause need to get work done during this holidays.

Good night!

LittleCaramelFlan

Chicken Soup for the College Soul

I cannot remember a point in my life when I desired anything other than becoming a teacher. As a child, I played school with my little cousins and friends just so I could practice for my future career. But what I didn’t realize as a child was how expensive my dream was. I came from a middle-class family, and it seemed as though we’d always struggled to make ends meet. My dream of attending the University of Connecticut seemed so out of reach, but I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less.

In the beginning of my senior year in high school, I began applying to colleges, but in my heart I had already made my decision. The University of Connecticut was the one. But a huge hurdle stood between me and my dream – lack of financial resources.

At first, I was ready to give up. I mean, who was going to give me, the average high-school girl, that kind of money? I wasn’t the smartest person in my class, not even close; but my heart was in the right place, and I was determinded. I knew that scholarships were only given to the really smart kids, or so I thought. I applied for every scholarship I could get my hands on. What did I have to lose? And then my guidance counselor told me about the financial aid system. I applied, but I didn’t think I would qualify for that either.

After the holidays, my friends started receiving their acceptance letters from colleges, and I eagerly anticipated mine. Finally, a letter arrived from the University of Connecticut. Feelings of fear and joy overwhelmed me, but I was ready. I opened the envelope with trembling hands as tears engulfed my eyes. I had done it! I had been accepted to the University of Connecticut! I cried for a while, feeling both extremely excited and afraid. I had worked so hard to get accepted; what if I was denied admission because of my financial status?

I had been working a full-time job, but that was barely enough to pay for tuition. My parents couldn’t afford that kind of money, and I wasn’t going to pretend that they could. I was the first person in my family who would attend a university, and I knew how proud my parents were; but it was impossible for them to finance my education. However, my parents are incredible people, and they taught me never to give up on my dreams, regardless of the obstacles that I encounter, and never to lose sight of what I truly want out of life. My parents were right, and I continued to believe in both myself and my dreams.

Months went by before I heard anything from the financial aid office. I assumed that I didn’t qualify for aid, but I wasn’t ready to lose hope yet. At least, a letter arrived. I opened it eagerly, but it was a false alarm. The letter requested more information in order to process my application.

This happened over and over, and my hopes kept getting shot down. Finally, a bulky envelope arrived. I knew this was the one that would determine whether or not I could attend college. I opened the envelope and could hardly understand what any of the documents inside meant.

The following day, I brought the documents to school and asked my guidance counselor to take a look at them. He looked up at me with a huge smile on his face and told me that not only was financial aid going to help me out with my expense, but I had also won two of the scholarships I had applied for! I was in shock at first, then I cried. I had actually made my dream come true.

I am now a junior at the University of Connecticut, pursuing a degree in English. In the beginning og the new millennium, my dream will become a reality. I will be a teacher.

I live by this quote: “Reach for the sky because if you should happen to miss, you’ll still be among the stars.”

– Rosa Torcasio

LittleCaramelFlan

Tough times

Was talking to this friend (whom I mentioned in the other post about her losing her grandma) before doing the dishes and made me feel terribly sad now. I messaged her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime next week cause thought we both shouldn’t stay at home too much. I told her how things have been bothering me so much that I keep thinking and only get better when I go to sleep; then she told me that she couldn’t even sleep these days… I don’t know, it may not seem so serious to you; she’s always been a tough yet sensitive girl. And talking about this, I don’t understand how people usually think ‘tough girls won’t cry’. Honestly, that’s way stupid. They’re capable doesn’t mean they don’t need care or ain’t feeling the way others do.

Told her to call me whenever she needs me and hope that we can meet up next week. I’m worried, cause she’s been through so much already (not just saying about her grandma but also her past experiences), and I realised how important this girl is to me now. One of the few people who understands me when the rest of the world don’t give a sh*t.

LittleCaramelFlan

PS: This year has been too much of hurt and dramas for everyone… Why is that?

Remember When – Alan Jackson

A friend on Facebook shared this video yesterday and it was soooo beautiful <3!

Such song always makes me feel something inside from the first time listening… Haha suddenly thinking of this girl at school, apparently we have sorta same taste of music, you know those sweet smooth slow songs~ She’s a real fan of Celine Dion lol :].

Was reading Chicken Soup for the College Soul this afternoon, some stories were really nice so I think I might share with y’all soon :D.

LittleCaramelFlan

The moment when you just feel so sick of something and cannot take it anymore. Run away, and listen to this legendary song.

In my shoes, just to see
What it’s like, to be me
I’ll be you, let’s trade shoes
Just to see what it’d be like

To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others’ minds
Just to see what we’d find
Look at shit through each others’ eyes

Don’t let ’em say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
So don’t let ’em say you ain’t beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

 

Last day of school (Term 3)

Hey 😀

We’re watching The Red Dog in IST right now and I’m not interested since we won’t be able to finish it all off anyway so rather not start watching.

This week feels pretty weird I don’t know, or is it because it’s the last week of school for this term. Our school’s Year 12 Graduation Ceremony was held at Adventist College’s hall cause our hall isn’t big enough to hold a whole school assembly. I got really pissed off at how it was organised this year, other years before we would just have a whole school assembly in the squad and be dismissed at 1330 but yesterday we were back to school at 1505. Enjoyed nothing out of it really, apart from the Year Adsiver’s speech, it was super long and touching. I guess many girls (whom ain’t in Year 12 even) cried for it. Basically just had a pretty crappy day. Was just fully thinking of Mum during school…

After school met up with Julia so that saved me a bit. We had our food court swag again <3, meant to go for chocolate but I didn’t wanna be home late so yeah~ We drank and ate and talked for almost 2 hours; was so sleepy after that and was fully drowsing on the train -.-‘ Nearly leaned on this senior St Pats guy, didn’t even know since when he came sit next to me.

Haven’t been doing much work after school for the last 2 days cause didn’t really have anything~ So was talking to my guy friend and listened to him telling ’bout his graduation =]]. Really happy for him cause he seemed to have enjoyed it and had so much fun. He came first in Maths Extension 2 and Engineering, which also makes a lot of sense how I can only beat him in LnN with letters game but not numbers ._.

I’m going to Moon Festival with this girl from my Maths class, Queenie, on Sunday. It’s like a Viet/Canto community event so I’m really excited cause she’s part of Viet too X], and had so much fun at this event last year! I think I’m allowed to stay til 2000 for the fireworks cause Mum just asked when it is finished and I told her then she didn’t say anything else about the time. Dunno though, it’s gonna be pretty late (dangerous)… But I really wanna be out late for once (not THAT late I mean) and have fun. Last year I got picked up but probably not this year.

Had a bit of a drink last night before bed, felt soooo good. I was already in bed at around 2200 but then Tony went home with a bottle of vodka <3. “Smirnoff” is good; don’t know if I’ve tried other brands though, never really paid attention to the brand. Mum came home half way so had to stop and get my butt to bed again =.=’ And this morning suddenly woke up at 0400 something, then slept again til the alarm then kept sleeping til 0730. School.

Realised I wasn’t the only one feeling tough this week, this other girl as well; we were talking on the way to school. Her grandma passed away yesterday… Didn’t know what to say really, so I just listened and gave her hugs, like what we always do to comfort each other. Today is gonna be a long day.

LittleCaramelFlan

Confined.

These days I started realising how confined I am because of Mum. She just doesn’t really understand the way things should work, I could just become a terrible person if she keeps it this way. Oh, and my stupid brother. Maybe I should talk to Dad ’bout it.

LittleCaramelFlan

Weekends Overall [09.09.12]

Ello!!

Sorry for my lack of posts these days, was very busy last week cause of school and it nearly killed me. Left my IST assignment til last minute and had to rush through a lot, then on Friday had to wake up at 5AM to volunteer for Legacy Day (I live quite far from Homebush and it started at 6AM). So pretty much slept for only 4 hours or so.

Australia’s going into spring/summer so the weather’s been changing like crazy and plus with my lack of sleeps, got really sick yesterday. My throat was showing signs on Thursday and had a bad sore throat on Friday but it was all good til yesterday, lay in bed for almost the whole day of the fever. Couldn’t get much work done except for some Maths, I started to enjoy it so much for some reason.

2 weeks left to our term break and hope that everything will be going right. Ima really going to use my 2 weeks break wisely, study for our final exams which are in Term 4; reckon they will be coming pretty soon cause we don’t do much next term, only a few weeks then there’s Work Experience and Australian Business Week, after that then probably there’s nothing much left for school. I’m excited for our WE week cause last week got a reply email from the House with No Steps – which is a disability care centre – and they accepted me, will be doing this with Shirley, this girl friend from school, even more happy cause we have same interests :].

Got so much better after waking up this morning so was really glad about it haha! Cause Mum said she would take me to the doctor tomorrow if I don’t get better. It’s like a spell, cause I always got better from something after I heard ‘going to doctor’ :P. Yehhhh, scaredy little me. But I’m determined to donate blood next year cause at my school they has it every year, and I could never do it as I haven’t turned 16 yet.

Was watching this TVB drama called Ghetto Justice II today and it was so out of my expectations. Ok if you’re an Asian then you should know what it is (especially if you’re Chinese), the drama is about lawyers who fight injustice for the people of this poor district in Hong Kong. I’ve watched GJ I and thought it was really good, the plot and the characters, even thought it was much better than its second sequel but after episode 19, I really had to reconsider it. I wondered if it was just me or those scenes in ep 19 would really bring people to tears. Was about to tell happened but don’t wanna spoil it for you guys so yeah :D. Usually dramas/movies would just have me with teary eyes, never expected that I would get so touched by this one…and it didn’t even have anything to do with the protagonists -.- Had like teary eyes for a while and after that tears just poured down (_ _’), couldn’t take it anymore and didn’t want my siblings to laugh at me in case they saw me like that so I closed the window and went to do Maths.

Ok gonna continue with my English homework and start my Geography assessment now. Oh God and I’m coughing like hell (why do we tend to cough more/get fever at night??).

Hope you all have a good night and an exciting week this week! X]

LittleCaramelFlan

Tag No. 7

Doing a tag post now cause if not now then I don’t know when I will have time again to do it.

Who do you spend more time with, your friends or your family?

– I think I just spend most time by myself (studying, reading, computer-ing) :D. Physically stay home a lot but everyone is always busy with their own things so I talk online with my friends more.

If you could have ANY animal as a pet, what would you choose?

– A dog (as I always wished to), a wolf and a lion :P.

Does eating ice-cream ever give you a headache? And if it does, do you dislike eating ice-cream for that reason?

– I’ve only had brain freeze, but that’s very rare. I’m a big fan of ice cream haha, just had gelato with Julia on Friday night XP.

<!– more –>

What kind of mood were you in before you went to sleep last night? And what kind of mood did you wake up in this morning?

– Not sure..neutral I guess? Was pretty energetic this morning and kept myself busy for a while with chores.

Did you have any conversations last night that made you cry, or made you feel upset?

– LOL no. I usually only get upset on school days.

Are you confused about anything atm?

– Yesh, a lot.

Does the last person you kissed wear hair gel?

– No. =]]

How about glasses/contact lenses?

– Nah.

Are your teeth white enough? If not, would you consider having them whitened?

– No sadly 😦 Trying my best to make them look better though. And yes, my sis suggested so but don’t know when I will have time to do that.

Have you ever stormed out of a class in school?

– Yes but not during class though, like right after the bell rang cause I had to run to the canteen.

Imagine, just for a second, that you never met the last person you texted. How do you think your life would be different?

– In a way, of course? Maybe would have had less fun, but less troubles too.

Have you ever felt as though someone rejected you? And if so, how much did it affect your self-esteem? Were you afraid that it would happen to you again?

– Yes haha! Have this guy friend from Taekwondo who never bothers to talk online (which we used to do before so have no idea what happened now). I did get a bit upset but not my problem now cause I tried my best to make it up yet he never told me anything so don’t really care anymore. No, don’t see why I should be.

Is there anything worrying you, or anything you’d like to get off your chest?

– School and family mostly.

Could you go a whole month without your phone?

– Yesh, but only if I don’t ever see it.

What is plugged in to the socket nearest to you?

– The laptop.

Is there someone who would drop everything and come to you as soon as you called?

– Must be Mum, if it’s urgent of course.

What do the 3 most recent texts in your inbox say?

  1. dw, got two tests next week so gna study, talk soon xx
  2. Hymns, bible study, learn about God and Jesus – From Julia.
  3. $29 Cap – U’ve remaining $138 etc – From Vodafone balance request.

Did you check your Facebook for messages when you woke up this morning?

– Not right in the morning cause don’t have that habit anymore =]] Just checked for notifications later on.

How are you different around your friends, compared with how you behave around your family?

– I think I act more mature around friends. And I don’t talk a lot when with family but I tell them things I don’t at school.

Have you cried in the last 48 hours?

– Yes, from the dream yesterday morning, I woke up in tears.

Does someone of the opposite sex call you ‘babe’ or ‘baby’? Or do they call you something else?

– Yes, this online guy friend texted “Good night baby” a few days ago :>.

Have you told anyone to f*** off recently?

– No, I don’t use that words to other people -.-‘.

What’s your natural hair colour? Are you happy with it, or do you wish it was different?

– Black, have thought about dying but not really ready for it so just might later.

Do you wish someone would come to visit you?

– Maybe on Friday afternoon or during the holidays. But everyone in family is looking forward to Dad’s visit <3.

What was the last meal you ate? Did you enjoy it?

– Pizza from Costco, it was alright, didn’t love it so had only 2 slices.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?

– No =.=’

List the names of the last ten people, outside of family, that you talked to or interacted with.

  1. Julia
  2. Jin Jin
  3. Josie
  4. Johnny
  5. Derek
  6. Thao
  7. Shirley
  8. Daenikka
  9. Joanne
  10. Queenie

Do you think 1 would ever cheat on his/her partner?

– Julia – God knows, maybe~ But I know she would feel very bad afterward, right? ;]

2 tells you that he/she hates you, what do you say?

– Jin Jin – o.O LOL but I like you?

If I told you that you had to spend an entire day with 3, how would you feel about that?

– Josie – I would spend my whole night planning of what to do, thought it would be fun cause we haven’t hung out for a while :P.

Describe 4’s style; what kind of clothes does he/she normally wear?

– Johnny – Shirt with jeans…? Ok I’m just really bad at describing (_ _”), haven’t seen him for nearly 2 years so I don’t know.

Have you ever been in 5’s bedroom?

– Derek – No but I’ve seen it.

What is the nicest memory you have of 6?

– Thao – Must be the tutor classes in Year 6 in the evening together haha! Had so much fun hanging around the school at night and fooling in Maths class.

If 7 called now and said they needed you, would you go to help them?

– Shirley – Yesh yesh. We’re not that close, as in hang around together at school but we do share things and I feel like there’s a connection between us so yeah, definitely! :]

Do you think 8 would ever have a one-night stand?

– Daenikka – At this stage, I don’t think so -.-‘ LOL but anything can happen in the later future~ 😛

If 9 went missing or suddenly disappeared, would you be upset?

– Joanne – Yes, I would be really worried; this girl is somehow becoming important to me :>.

Could you cope with living in the same house as 10?

– Nope, doubt it.

Would 2 and 5 make a good couple?

– Jin Jin and Derek – Erhh I can’t imagine that but yes I would love to see them as a couple! HAHA =))

What is the relationship between 4 and 9?

– Johnny and Joanne – They don’t know each other.

Who have you known longer, 1 or 8?

– Julia and Daenikka – Mmm I’m not quite sure about this cause I met both of them in Year 8.

What does 3 think of 7?

– Josie and Shirley – I don’t know.. -.-‘

Who do you think will have children first, 6 or 10?

– Thao and Queenie – Probably Thao cause she’s got a boyfriend already :P.

Is 1 capable of making you cry?

– Julia – ….Like twice already? -.-‘

Does 2 have straight or curly hair?

– Jin Jin – Straight I guess? I’m usually not very attentive at boy’s hair so yeah~

Would you introduce 3 to your family?

– I guess if I was going to.

Does 4 have long or short hair?

– Johnny – Short. Yeh, should be short…

What if you found out 5 was talking about you behind your back?

– Derek – Errhh depends on what he talked about, if it was something bad I would Get upset -> Confront -> Get upset -> Forget it. Anyway, don’t think there’s anything I could do cause it was my choice to trust in the first place.

Do you think 6 could last 6 months in a relationship?

– Thao – Yeah, in which she has already done.

What kind of men/women does 7 like?

– Shirley – I’m not quite sure but suppose it’s someone caring and understands her?

Is there a song that reminds you of 8?

– Daenikka – “We Found Love” by Rihanna, she was teaching me how to sing it when we were on office duty last year haha! XD

Does 9 drink a lot?

– Joanne – She’s not eligible to drink so don’t think so.

Has 10 ever seen you cry?

– Queenie – Nup.

Which friend knows you best?

– Julia, cause we’ve been sharing about our hard times lately and I didn’t really tell that to anyone cause I thought they wouldn’t really understand.

How long have you had the shoes you’re wearing?

– I don’t know >.<. Never paid attention to that…

Do you always look people straight in the eye when you’re talking to them?

– Yeah I used to avoid eye contact but been trying to improve these days :).

Do your earphones tangle up a lot?

– Used to, with the ones before but not with these that I borrowed from my sis.

Do your earphones often break so that you have to replace them, or does one pair last you a long time?

– The only earphones that ever broke was from 3-4 years ago. And now I’m switching back and forth between different ones so they’re pretty good.

Has the last person you texted ever made you cry?

– Erhh don’t think so.

Do you ever listen to your favourite songs on repeat?

– Yeah, so many times.

The 7th text message in your inbox, who is it from? How old is that person?

– Julia. And she’s turning 16 very soon <3.

If you find out that your friends have lied to you or kept something from you, does that bother you?

– I usually don’t really mind if someone doesn’t want to tell me something, but I wouldn’t like to swallow lies and especially if it’s something about me.

Think about the person you fell the hardest for. Do you regret falling for that person? Why/why not?

– No, I did have that thought before but realised I shouldn’t regret something that made me smile for a long timeeeee~ =]

Do you think the last person you kissed would make a good parent?

– I will go back to your question after I kiss someone. ;]

Do you know anyone who doesn’t like chocolate?

– I think I do, but I can’t remember their name now (_ _”).

Do you feel like crying right now?

– HAHA NOPE! Rather happy and feel like smiling a lot now :].

Are you wearing anything that you received as a gift from someone else?

– The earrings my sis gave me a few days ago, and the necklace my parents bought me from Malaysia.

What colour was the shirt you wore yesterday?

– An orange dress.

Have you ever had the same dream more than once?

– Maybe?

They sometimes say … “When life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, think of a thousand reasons to smile.” What do you have to smile about?

– Family, future and friends. The 4Fs <3.

 

LittleCaramelFlan

P/s: OMG didn’t expect this would take so long…  Gotta move on with some work now! >.<

Untouchable – Taylor Swift <3

This song is heaps beautiful and don’t know how I just first got to listen it last week >.< It’s so nice and I love her elegant gentle voice :].

..Ok so yeah..many things in life are/seem untouchable ~

LittleCaramelFlan

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